Upon your death revised June 2020

In a hazy noon of July summer
Shaded little under still pines above me

the carriers labored up your own steep land
to place your polished casket in the dark hole 
dug in the cooler morning by friends 
and some respecting foe

A rude place to hold your body down


As I waited in the buzzing heat 
for your story's end
I slipped into a daze 
I saw the other side

As you reached the azure river that slid over smooth grey stones 
bounded by fields flowing in colors of Heaven.


As you glided across gentle waters
golden fingertips reached for you.
Hands pulled you close as arms entwined you 
Your eyes were warm stars
when you saw your mama running to greet you. 

My peace was intense 
as I felt you slip into that promised land

Of love and ease.
Ease.


Breathless suddenly,
 mourners wails, 
and soft weeping from some 
at your final day
 seeped into my heart.

Leaning into a close pine to release my grief 
in a last hug for you,
My tears streamed into the black roughness of bark


As I weakly forgot that yourself now resides on the eternal mountain 


Soon the family walked the worn path home 
Home changed forever again at death,
they spoke of your goodness and made heart promises
To meet you again. 

Not me though.
I ran wildly through the shallow river screaming my sorrow
at your loss 
from my being alive.
 grief has wrapped me tightly into pain
that makes me stand alone in nothing

Only looking into the time to be with you again.

We were one 
and separate 
for a lifetime.
Your leaving makes me alone
not finding who I am
without you

Death is final for your body
but not my heart.