Friday, March 28, 2014
Happy Lights
It works!
This winter, I purchased a "happy light" as Ela and Aleks call it. This is a simulated sunlight lamp for people who suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. In other words, depression due to constant gray days. I turn it on and after about 1/2 hour, I feel my spirits lift. Sometimes, I leave it on all day.
Another happy thought to write about- print and grammar mistakes on social networks by humans and auto correct.
School Friends
School Friends
3/27/14
Yesterday I traveled to Lodi Ohio with Chris to meet Arlene for lunch. Both are high school friends that I have been in contact with occasionally since graduation. Our friendship was centered over our freshman and sophomore years.
After 6th grade at Steuben school, all the outlying students went to junior high at the high school on split sessions until the new junior high was completed. We were outsiders to town kids already familiar with each other and knew the established social hierarchy. My sixth grade friends were spread out over different class groups I now realized were arranged due to scholastic achievement. My best friend soon found a new town friend and was able to acclimate to the new surroundings. I think I never did. I don't remember any friends from 7th or 8th grade. My life was secret and I kept to myself for survival. Those memories are cold and gray and alone among the class mates who had money and privilege and made fun of my speech and my clothes and lack of social knowledge. The thing that saved me then was that I was smarter than most of them. And I had a family to go home to for awhile.
As a freshman, I remember that Arlene and I met in Mrs. Rineharts Algebra class and ate lunch together. After eating, we cruised the halls, flirting with boys we passed and those we could see through classroom door windows. In the winter, I did go to a few basketball games with her and did stay overnite once at her home on Ash St. My sisters could drive and thus I was able go to some school events. My parents both worked second shift at Pioneer Rubber and with one car, we were severely limited in after school and other social activities. Arlene never stayed the night with me. I knew my home was different from hers and was afraid of being judged again and maybe losing her friendship.
Anyway, the school year ended and we didn't see anyone from school over the summer. I worked at Holthouse Bros farm in Celeryville during the break. The season before my freshman year was my first job. My first checks were $15 per 40 hour week and Saturday mornings. That summer, the federal minimum increased and I was raised to $45. The ready acceptance of Carol and Brendas little sister by the experienced workers, I suppose gave me some pseudo confidence for the next years in school. The money also raised my socioeconomic level. My clothes matched that of other girls.
Somewhere during my sophomore year, I met Chris through Arlene, I guess. We had a study hall together and did go to some ball games together. Once, I went to her house and we listened to music-the Stone Ponies singing Different Drum. Arlene had moved past us. She had a steady boyfriend. I saw her in classes and lunch but her focus was on the boy.
During junior and senior year, Arlene and Chris began attending the Vocational School in Shelby to study cosmetology. Several of those first mornings of school, I tried to talk with them, but they had already moved on. And I adjusted again with Carol and Suzan and Ruth.
Years later I ran into Arlene after she married a Smith guy and attended our New Haven church. And Chris and I reconnected when she worked at a local flower shop. They were simple chats but a reconnection still that remained and for me came to fruition at yesterdays meeting. Years of life have come and gone for me, but the occasional thought of how they must have really liked something about me have helped sustain a life. Friendship increases in value with time. Truth. I am glad that Arlene and Chris and I can laugh together in this age.
3/27/14
Yesterday I traveled to Lodi Ohio with Chris to meet Arlene for lunch. Both are high school friends that I have been in contact with occasionally since graduation. Our friendship was centered over our freshman and sophomore years.
After 6th grade at Steuben school, all the outlying students went to junior high at the high school on split sessions until the new junior high was completed. We were outsiders to town kids already familiar with each other and knew the established social hierarchy. My sixth grade friends were spread out over different class groups I now realized were arranged due to scholastic achievement. My best friend soon found a new town friend and was able to acclimate to the new surroundings. I think I never did. I don't remember any friends from 7th or 8th grade. My life was secret and I kept to myself for survival. Those memories are cold and gray and alone among the class mates who had money and privilege and made fun of my speech and my clothes and lack of social knowledge. The thing that saved me then was that I was smarter than most of them. And I had a family to go home to for awhile.
As a freshman, I remember that Arlene and I met in Mrs. Rineharts Algebra class and ate lunch together. After eating, we cruised the halls, flirting with boys we passed and those we could see through classroom door windows. In the winter, I did go to a few basketball games with her and did stay overnite once at her home on Ash St. My sisters could drive and thus I was able go to some school events. My parents both worked second shift at Pioneer Rubber and with one car, we were severely limited in after school and other social activities. Arlene never stayed the night with me. I knew my home was different from hers and was afraid of being judged again and maybe losing her friendship.
Anyway, the school year ended and we didn't see anyone from school over the summer. I worked at Holthouse Bros farm in Celeryville during the break. The season before my freshman year was my first job. My first checks were $15 per 40 hour week and Saturday mornings. That summer, the federal minimum increased and I was raised to $45. The ready acceptance of Carol and Brendas little sister by the experienced workers, I suppose gave me some pseudo confidence for the next years in school. The money also raised my socioeconomic level. My clothes matched that of other girls.
Somewhere during my sophomore year, I met Chris through Arlene, I guess. We had a study hall together and did go to some ball games together. Once, I went to her house and we listened to music-the Stone Ponies singing Different Drum. Arlene had moved past us. She had a steady boyfriend. I saw her in classes and lunch but her focus was on the boy.
During junior and senior year, Arlene and Chris began attending the Vocational School in Shelby to study cosmetology. Several of those first mornings of school, I tried to talk with them, but they had already moved on. And I adjusted again with Carol and Suzan and Ruth.
Years later I ran into Arlene after she married a Smith guy and attended our New Haven church. And Chris and I reconnected when she worked at a local flower shop. They were simple chats but a reconnection still that remained and for me came to fruition at yesterdays meeting. Years of life have come and gone for me, but the occasional thought of how they must have really liked something about me have helped sustain a life. Friendship increases in value with time. Truth. I am glad that Arlene and Chris and I can laugh together in this age.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Random Thoughts for 3/19/14
I saw a car in Bowling Green, Ohio with license plate ZINNIA. Did not see the driver, but I imagined she was several years younger than me, full of busy confidence and combed her long hair with her fingers. She was on her way to the greenhouse because she needed more plants for the flower beds. Probably for the perennials that were on sale. Coneflowers, daylilies, bee balm, daisies...
Lack of membership finally closed the doors of St Sebastian's after a hundred years of spirit. Latin mass left in the 1970s. The townships children went away to college and never came back. The parents aged and went to the nursing home and then final settlement in the cemetery near the church. Most of the surrounding land was bought by corporation farmers who plow to the road. The old homes are slowly fading and losing their battle against weeds and shrubs and the wild. That hope and hard work of the settlers is finished. In the distance I can see the gravestones standing alone against the stark white of the church. Lonely and left, they will soon lean and wear away to the earth.
My drawings-
My MS life-several years ago in the winter, I had trouble with my thought processes and speech and communication. I also had headaches and became very depressed. I was convinced that I had a tumor, but my neurologist assured me that all this was part of my illness. Anyway, about that time, I started drawing. At first it was doodles, then abstract doodles that became more complex and intense. I am still compelled to draw everyday. Some drawings get painted or pen and inked. Bright colors. Imagined angles and shapes. I don't know where it comes from (I really know WHO it comes from) but it is a comfort to my brain. This winter, on our flight home from Florida, I learned another reason why. As the flight readied for departure, I was already drawing to pass time. The very helpful attendant, Karen, asked if the drawing was for her and I said "if you like". I soon finished the picture in black inks, and as we neared landing, I passed it to the attendant with name tag Karen, but she was the wrong one. Seems there was 2 Karen flight attendants. The other one appeared and I gave it to her. She thanked me with tears in her eyes and shared that she had lost a dear friend that very day and my drawing was a sweet gift. I still think of her as I draw daily and wonder if she is finding comfort for her loss. And say a prayer for her. God works in wondrous ways.
Karen worked on the Ft Lauderdale to Atlanta Southwest flight on February 26. Please be kind to her and other Karens.
Lack of membership finally closed the doors of St Sebastian's after a hundred years of spirit. Latin mass left in the 1970s. The townships children went away to college and never came back. The parents aged and went to the nursing home and then final settlement in the cemetery near the church. Most of the surrounding land was bought by corporation farmers who plow to the road. The old homes are slowly fading and losing their battle against weeds and shrubs and the wild. That hope and hard work of the settlers is finished. In the distance I can see the gravestones standing alone against the stark white of the church. Lonely and left, they will soon lean and wear away to the earth.
My drawings-
My MS life-several years ago in the winter, I had trouble with my thought processes and speech and communication. I also had headaches and became very depressed. I was convinced that I had a tumor, but my neurologist assured me that all this was part of my illness. Anyway, about that time, I started drawing. At first it was doodles, then abstract doodles that became more complex and intense. I am still compelled to draw everyday. Some drawings get painted or pen and inked. Bright colors. Imagined angles and shapes. I don't know where it comes from (I really know WHO it comes from) but it is a comfort to my brain. This winter, on our flight home from Florida, I learned another reason why. As the flight readied for departure, I was already drawing to pass time. The very helpful attendant, Karen, asked if the drawing was for her and I said "if you like". I soon finished the picture in black inks, and as we neared landing, I passed it to the attendant with name tag Karen, but she was the wrong one. Seems there was 2 Karen flight attendants. The other one appeared and I gave it to her. She thanked me with tears in her eyes and shared that she had lost a dear friend that very day and my drawing was a sweet gift. I still think of her as I draw daily and wonder if she is finding comfort for her loss. And say a prayer for her. God works in wondrous ways.
Karen worked on the Ft Lauderdale to Atlanta Southwest flight on February 26. Please be kind to her and other Karens.
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